I used to solely rely on motivation.
“I feel like writing today. Let’s write. Hope I’ll get motivated to write again tomorrow“.
Later, I discovered this strategy was fragile, because motivation doesn’t stay forever. So I switched to developing habits instead.
“Everyday after taking my shower, I’ll write at least one paragraph“.
This worked for me. But there are still times when I feel like giving up. Times when anxiety and negative thoughts pop up.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m feeling lost. I’m afraid I won’t persevere“.
Ironically, these thoughts helped me to get back up again.
I’ll call this: The Paradox of Getting Motivated
An experiment: next time you feel unmotivated, just lay down on the couch doing nothing. No smartphone, no TV, just your body and your consciousness.
Boredom will probably let your thoughts flow and you may ask yourself:
“What I’m I even doing here? lol“
“What am I? What do I want?“
“What is the meaning of life?“
Doing nothing lets you reflect on deep thoughts.
You also have self-help books and inspirational quotes. They can give you optimism. But can they pull you by the hand to get you up? No. The only person who can command your brain to do it, is yourself.
I used to consider these “I’m not feeling it” moments as bad.
But actually, these pauses can be quite helpful.
That is, if you use them to reflect.
This is a signal to consider your goal (what do I really want?), your skills (am I getting better?) and your strategy (how am I gonna get it?).
Revaluing is an important part of the process, if you want to achieve something.
What if you didn’t revalue?
- You would blindly follow your destination without knowing you’re headed the way you want: Why am I doing this?
- There will eventually be times when you feel like giving up, but you wouldn’t ask yourself: Why am I not feeling like it?
In other words, improvement would be slower.
Therefore my aim is to accept INFI (I’m Not Feeling It), because I want to understand it. We’ll take a slow walk together, hand in hand. We’ll discuss the matter. Then we’ll make a deal.
Me: See you later.
INFI (I’m Not Feeling It): Ok, let’s see if your new strategy works.